Rediscovering Me

Rediscovering Me –
I can’t believe how much I’m looking forward to this either… the ‘meals’ and drinks… it’s like my body is waking back up after a semi-coma slumber. As though I have been moving through sludge… struggling to get out but clueless as to how, and now I’ve begun the process of climbing out of that pit with a set plan and the proper set of tools to actually do it.

I CAN’T WAIT!!! WooHoo!!! 🙂 Continue reading


Little Red Has More To Say

Writing about this is not easy. I abhor opening myself up to these thoughts, feelings, memories. I’m dreading sleep… Continue reading

The Four Doves

Whilst walking in the stormy way
I looked up and saw four doves
A day short of Mother’s Day

They lit upon the wire
Strung between the poles
They sat and returned my stare

It’s been so long since I saw a dove
And here were four
Highlighted against the bleak rolling gray
By a ray of light
As though a hole ‘twas ripped in the sky

My heart began to ache
Four loved ones gone
My sweet loving Grandpa
A true Cowboy now in Heaven
One dove flew away.

A sob caught in my throat
My wonderful Aunt
A second mother to all her nieces and nephews
Now spends her days with the baby she never got to raise
The second Dove took flight.

Tears began to fall from my eyes,
The sky let a soft mist
My Mother and Father now in my mind’s eye
“I love you and miss you”
The third Dove took wing.

“I miss you so much Mom”
So many times I want to talk
Her voice, captured on a disk
It’s not the same
“Mom, I love you. I know you’re there.
Watching over us.”
The last Dove lifted in the air,
Hovered but didn’t take off.

“Happy Mother’s Day, Mom”
The Fourth Dove turned and circled above,
Then took off towards the others in a tree.
All four in flight,
Following the light.
Four Doves,
Watching over me.

By: E. Steele
© 5/9/2015

Do you have a fear of death?

A lot of people do for various reasons. There are many things to fear in life, spiders is at the top of my list, but one constant for everyone seems to be death. Either of dying it’s self or something that leads up to death.
Personally, I’m not afraid to die. I faced that possibility at 16 and dealt with it then. I am scared of loosing those that I love, though. So that would be my “fear of death”. It’s something that I can not change, nor do I have dominion over when it will happen. Since I am driven by emotions I do not see this fear leaving anytime soon. Therefore, I’m just going to have to continue to fear it, and find someway to handle it as best I can.
A very wonderful friend of mine wrote a blog post, “Facing Death Facing Life“, concerning this topic. I recommend reading this, and others that she has written. It puts her fear of death into a light that many of us can understand, and find a way to accept our own fear.

Watching movies with kids

can be entirely entertaining, esp. when they are boys. Recently I rented Samantha: An American Girl Holiday from Netflix. I was overjoyed to watch a movie that featured strong girls, had history, and had characters in it that I’d read about when I was younger. I loved the “Samantha” series (4 books when I got them) when my mother gave them to me and enjoyed reading stories that had Victorian history, to a degree, within them.

It was so funny watching this movie with him because I’d told him a little of what he’d see in it, having watched it earlier, and shortly into it he says “So when do we get to the good stuff?” Seeing as how the story line takes place during 1904 and he had been learning about that era of history the idea had intrigued him and he loves history. He was interested to see the part about children working in factories, a part that he thought was horrible and wrong.  I’m proud that he is learning and growing up with strong ideas of right and wrong. I guess that means I’m doing my job right 😉

Of course after the movie I asked him how he liked it and his response was priceless, “I would have liked it a lot more if it didn’t have so much stuff about girls.” Yup… I have a son.

You can see a little of the movie here via YouTube:

How could you grow a garden in a small space plus do a compost pile and still have a yard?

The answer my friends is a Keyhole Garden. It is a brilliant idea that apparently has been used for some time in Africa for gardening and composting.

As spring draws near I find myself once again turning to the idea of a nice, green, vibrant yard full of trees, bushes, flowers, herbs, and veggies. I have a pitiful, pitiful yard and have for some time. I have a horrible time attempting to grow anything, I believe I have a “Black Thumb” while all my relatives have “Green Thumbs”, but when it comes to knowing how to use the stuff I’m tops. 🙂 LOL
I know a lot about herbs and spices, both for medicinal and cooking usage, and I’m a wiz in the kitchen  for just about anything, cooking wise,  but I can not grow a thing. This type of garden, though,, appears to be something I could do, and possibly get it to work for me.
I want an herb garden, flowers that can be used for more than just beauty, and veggies with some fruit trees and vines around the yard. Basically I want my own little spot of “Heaven” and this idea for a garden would solve a few things for me.  YaY 🙂
This is a New Year’s Resolution, to have a compost pile and small herbal/veggie garden. We’ll work on the fruits and expanding the veggie part next year, maybe. LOL

I’m a horrible procastinator. There always seems a reason for not doing it or thing that stands in the way of it happening now. This I’ve decided has to stop concerning my “little slice of Heaven”. If you’ve ever cooked with fresh herbs then you understand why I want an herb garden. If you’ve ever looked at just how much stuff that can be recycled or turned into compost is thrown out a day by your family then you can see why I’d like to put a dent in that by doing composting.    When you compost you throw in newspapers (really any papers), cardboard, scarps of veggies and fruits. Just a little water is needed to keep it going and some earthworms. From all of this you get a continuing flow of food for the garden. The garden doesn’t take up much space and would work in pretty much any yard as well as looking fine instead of as an eyesore, IMO.
A common reason for most people in a city, suburb, town setting is that they can’t do things due to it being against the rules of where they live and it can’t be an eyesore. To me a garden is not an eyesore. It’s much more useful than grass and if you’re in a cramped space then it’s much more practical, but that’s not what the community seems to think. To me nothing is more beautiful than an old colonial English garden. These gardens can be small or huge. It all depends on the space at hand and what you want to plant or grow. I do not see how doing these types of gardens could be an eyesore, nor do I see how using a keyhole garden ( as your starting point ) could be bad. But that’s just my opinion.

The Colonial (Revival) Garden has some wonderful symmetry to it. You have separate areas to plant things in, each area encased with a box-type hedge or white picket fences. Herbs, flowers, fruit trees and bushes, and veggies each find a home in the layout. There are paths that wind through the whole and in the center you usually find a sundial, and seriously… Who doesn’t love that? You could put in arbors, gazebos, little garden bridges, just about anything you want to and it will still be beautiful.
The Colonial Garden has spanned time and while it started in the 18th century it has evolved and stayed. It is alive still and while a traditional Colonial English garden would be different, the Revival garden  keeps that spirit and merges it with today’s likes and desires. Truly this is my desired garden and I can’t wait to have one all to myself, well I’ll share with family but it’ll be my relaxation/get-away spot.

As an added interest, while searching for links to put in, I came across a project for kids to do as a school project. Here is that link -> Design a Colonial Garden.
How wonderful is it that kids are being introduced to gardening and history at the same time. I love that. My son’s school, NVVA, puts Art with History so that the lessons coincide and he learns so much more while having lots of fun with the projects. It’s a wonderful idea, and I would love to see more of that in schools. I believe that kids would learn better when the topic is being reinforced by two areas, and fun.

Here is an article that i found as well that tells how they created a Colonial Garden for a customer. It is wonderful and informative. I hope that you’ll enjoy it as well. –> How to Create a Colonial Garden

As always,
Many Blessings and Take Care,